Monster Shack Movie Reviews

Written by Barry J. Gillis and Andrew Jordan Directed by Andrew Jordan Run Time: 83 minutes 25 Words or Less: You’ll never be the same after "Things". Canada’s first direct-to-video horror movie! Classic Lines: "I’ve lived with the dead in New York City, but this is ridiculous!" – Don The Cast Don Drake (Barry J. [...]

Directed by Charles Band Written by Charles Band, Jackson Barr Run Time: 72 minutes 25 Words or Less: Diminutive alien cop hooks up with hot nurse to battle toys from Hell! The Cast Brick Bardo (Tim Thomerson)Only 12-inches tall, but with an galactic-sized attitude, interstellar cop Brick Bardo is trapped on a planet a long, [...]

Directed by Robert Hiltzik Written by Robert Hiltzik Run Time: 88 minutes A Monster Shack Video Bite Yes, I stumbled upon some old slasher flicks from the 80′s, which is my personal favorite decade for movies of all types…so be expecting to see more reviews from that bygone era (sigh). Call me old and nostalgic. [...]

Directed by Mark A.Z. Dippé Written by Simon Barrett, Scott Clevenger Run Time: 84 minutes In 25 Words or Less: Mutant fish invade our precious swamps and eat rednecks. The Cast Sam Rivers (Tory Kittles)Sam, the suave city-slicker M.E. who’s a country boy at heart, and a swamp expert without peer. But when Frankenfish shows [...]

Directed by Pat Corbitt Written by Gary Tunnicliffe, Stanley Isaacs Run Time: 75 minutes 25 Words or Less: Evil oil drillers wake up a giant, crabby prehistoric shark. Hi Lites Cute reporterShe’s cute. She’s a reporter. Let’s just leave it at that. CGIAcceptable CGI in the film, but too much mini-sub chomping…a bit boring after [...]

Directed by John McCauley Written by Jerry Golding, John McCauley Run Time: 82 minutes 25 Words or Less: Rattlesnakes get pissed off when the military dumps toxic waste on them. Hi Lites Stack FootagePlenty of stock footage from ancient nature reels, complete with defects in the emulsion; I even think I remember seeing one or [...]

Directed by John Carr, Phillip Marshak, Tom McGowan, Jay Schlossberg-Cohen, and Gregg C. Tallas (whew!) Written by Phillip Yordon Run Time: 98 minutes 25 Words or Less: Three movies, one never finished, edited into a full length film complete with God, Satan, boobs, and death machines.   Hi Lites Goofy animationPlenty of cheesy animation consisting [...]

Troll Hunter (2010) Directed by André Øvredal Written by André Øvredal, Håvard S. Johansen Run Time: 103 minutes Starting this review by saying that “Trollhunter” is like “The Blair Witch Project” meets “Cloverfield” gives the impression that this is a true Suck Fest. But it’s not – a Suck Fest, I mean. Trollhunter may steal [...]

Monster (2008) Directed by Erik Estenberg Written by Erick Estenberg & David Michael Latt Run Time: 90 minutes   In 2008 Cloverfield took the concept to new “heights” (sarcastic laughter) with an estimated budget of $30 million, a very cool monster design, and a cast of plastic 20-somethings. It went on to gross $170,602,318 worldwide, [...]

Directed by Russell Mulcahy Written by Gregory Widen Run Time: 109 minutes A guest review by Karl Hoegle Connor Macleod (Christopher Lambert)He must have really needed the money, or failed to read the script before agreeing to this turkey. Hmmm… Was there a script? Juan Sánchez Ramírez (Sean Connery)3.5 million for 9 days work! I [...]

Directed by Bitto Albertini (as Ben Norman) Written by John Thomas (who?!) Run Time: 87 minutes Belle Star (Sherry Buchanan)Ahhh…Belle Star. My cosmic princess. Before appearing in this epic movie, Ms. Buchanan had parts in Tentacles (1977) and, one of my personal favorites, Zombie Holocaust (1980). Unfortunately for us cheesy-movie lovers, she fell off the [...]

From the Better Late Than Never Department: The Monster Shack takes great pride in trashing the (gag) “Syfy” channel, but I was recently shocked, yes shocked!, to find it presenting something genuinely good. Thrilling even! And that thing is…..drum-roll….. The Mercury Men. It is, to quote it’s very cool retro poster, “The return of the [...]

Written and Directed by Cullen Blaine Run Time: 90 minutes Tagline: Judge, Jury, and Executioner. Few movies cry out to be reviewed as much as R.O.T.O.R. This 80′s sci-fi cheap-o movie has absolutely everything that makes a bad movie good: Goofy character names Embarrassing racial stereotypes Odious comic relief Continuity errors galore Plot holes a’plenty [...]

Written and Directed by Jack Perez Run Time: 90 minutes Tagline: Winner…Eats…All! Yes! Get ready for the movie that went straight to video in 2009, the movie that will have you pulling your hair out, the movie that will have you spewing beer out of your mouth in laughter, the movie that features your favorite [...]

Directed by Kevin Reynolds Writer by Peter Rader and David Twohy Run Time: 135 minutes A guest review by Karl Hoegle. Mariner (Kevin Kostner)So many fish jokes and puns that I could use here, but I will refrain. Deacon (Dennis Hopper)So over the top, I wonder if he read the script or just improvised as [...]

Directed by David Kramarsky Screenplay by Tom Flier Effects by Paul Blaisdell Run Time: 78 minutes The Monster Shack happily presents a guest review by Randy Landers. Summary: In an inhospitable wasteland far from civilization, a powerful alien touches down and begins tampering with nature, turning calm animals like birds and chickens into violently aggressive [...]

Directed by Christopher Ray Screenplay by: Naomi Selfman Tagline: Whoever wins…we lose! Run Time: 88 minutes A guest review by Sean Ledden Our story begins in an African diamond mine where a white trash guard insists the impoverished black workers stay on the job even when a tremor threatens to bring down the roof. (Booo!) [...]

Written and Directed by James Nguyen Run Time: 90 minutes Rod (Allen Bagh)Salesman, eco-warrior, and fisherman. Rod manages to survive the “birdemic” mostly by luck rather than smarts, and certainly not by acting. Nathalie (Whitney Moore)Mandatory love interest and hot-chick. Fair enough. Rick (Colton Osborne)Rick the sexaholic, annoying guy. Will the birds kill him?…tough question. [...]

Directed by David Hogan Written by Rachelle Howie Run Time: 90 minutes Guest review by Sean Ledden The 1950’s had the drive-in theater, and today we have the “Syfy” Channel. Its motto is “imagine greater,” which is astonishing given how much the people who run the channel evidently hate and despise imagination. But what did [...]

Directed by Terry O. Morse Written by Millard Kaufman Run Time: 74 minutes Tagline: Drilling into the forbidding depths of the Earth! Dr. Morley (Victor Kilian)The man behind the miracle…but will he survive the ardous trip? Wright Thompson (Bruce Kellogg)Big Daddy Deep Pockets comes through with the cash…but only if he can tag along. Dr. [...]