Monster Shack Movie Reviews

Directed by Russell Mulcahy Written by Gregory Widen Run Time: 109 minutes A guest review by Karl Hoegle Connor Macleod (Christopher Lambert)He must have really needed the money, or failed to read the script before agreeing to this turkey. Hmmm… Was there a script? Juan Sánchez Ramírez (Sean Connery)3.5 million for 9 days work! I [...]

Directed by Bitto Albertini (as Ben Norman) Written by John Thomas (who?!) Run Time: 87 minutes Belle Star (Sherry Buchanan)Ahhh…Belle Star. My cosmic princess. Before appearing in this epic movie, Ms. Buchanan had parts in Tentacles (1977) and, one of my personal favorites, Zombie Holocaust (1980). Unfortunately for us cheesy-movie lovers, she fell off the [...]

From the Better Late Than Never Department: The Monster Shack takes great pride in trashing the (gag) “Syfy” channel, but I was recently shocked, yes shocked!, to find it presenting something genuinely good. Thrilling even! And that thing is…..drum-roll….. The Mercury Men. It is, to quote it’s very cool retro poster, “The return of the [...]

Written and Directed by Cullen Blaine Run Time: 90 minutes Tagline: Judge, Jury, and Executioner. Few movies cry out to be reviewed as much as R.O.T.O.R. This 80′s sci-fi cheap-o movie has absolutely everything that makes a bad movie good: Goofy character names Embarrassing racial stereotypes Odious comic relief Continuity errors galore Plot holes a’plenty [...]

Written and Directed by Jack Perez Run Time: 90 minutes Tagline: Winner…Eats…All! Yes! Get ready for the movie that went straight to video in 2009, the movie that will have you pulling your hair out, the movie that will have you spewing beer out of your mouth in laughter, the movie that features your favorite [...]

Directed by Kevin Reynolds Writer by Peter Rader and David Twohy Run Time: 135 minutes A guest review by Karl Hoegle. Mariner (Kevin Kostner)So many fish jokes and puns that I could use here, but I will refrain. Deacon (Dennis Hopper)So over the top, I wonder if he read the script or just improvised as [...]

Directed by David Kramarsky Screenplay by Tom Flier Effects by Paul Blaisdell Run Time: 78 minutes The Monster Shack happily presents a guest review by Randy Landers. Summary: In an inhospitable wasteland far from civilization, a powerful alien touches down and begins tampering with nature, turning calm animals like birds and chickens into violently aggressive [...]

Directed by Christopher Ray Screenplay by: Naomi Selfman Tagline: Whoever wins…we lose! Run Time: 88 minutes A guest review by Sean Ledden Our story begins in an African diamond mine where a white trash guard insists the impoverished black workers stay on the job even when a tremor threatens to bring down the roof. (Booo!) [...]

Written and Directed by James Nguyen Run Time: 90 minutes Rod (Allen Bagh)Salesman, eco-warrior, and fisherman. Rod manages to survive the “birdemic” mostly by luck rather than smarts, and certainly not by acting. Nathalie (Whitney Moore)Mandatory love interest and hot-chick. Fair enough. Rick (Colton Osborne)Rick the sexaholic, annoying guy. Will the birds kill him?…tough question. [...]

Directed by David Hogan Written by Rachelle Howie Run Time: 90 minutes Guest review by Sean Ledden The 1950’s had the drive-in theater, and today we have the “Syfy” Channel. Its motto is “imagine greater,” which is astonishing given how much the people who run the channel evidently hate and despise imagination. But what did [...]

Directed by Terry O. Morse Written by Millard Kaufman Run Time: 74 minutes Tagline: Drilling into the forbidding depths of the Earth! Dr. Morley (Victor Kilian)The man behind the miracle…but will he survive the ardous trip? Wright Thompson (Bruce Kellogg)Big Daddy Deep Pockets comes through with the cash…but only if he can tag along. Dr. [...]

Directed by Joe Finley Written by Howard Cohen and Lance Smith Run Time: 80 minutes Although I typically wouldn’t want to review a sequel without first posting a review for the first of the series, I’m going to make an exception for this movie. Why? Two reasons: 1) It’s not really a sequel: it’s more [...]

Directed by Daniel Petrie Written by Alvin Sapinsley Run Time: 75 minutes Tagline: Deadly secrets emerge from the shadows when the full moon rises! Classic Quote: “It’s not considered good medical practice to perform autopsies in the middle of swamps surrounded by howling dogs and scratching rustics”- Doc Druten Sheriff Whitaker (David Janssen)Raspy voiced TV [...]

Directed by Stephen Hopkins Written by Akiva Goldsman Run Time: A whopping 130 minutes! [Dennis: Ouch!] Tagline: Danger, Will Robinson! Budget: 75 million Total US Gross: 69.102 Million (136 Million worldwide) A Guest Review by Karl Hoegle John Robinson (John Hurt)Super Dad! Maureen Robinson (Mimi Rodgers)The glue that keeps the family together. Judy Robinson (Heather [...]

Directed by Roberto Mauri Written by Roberto Mauri and Walter Brandi Run Time: 82 minutes Tagline: From the forest came the terror of… Other Titles: King of Kong Island "I can hardly wait to find out if there really is a sacred monkey." – Diane Yes, I know: sorry about the screen-shot quality. This movie [...]

Directed by Umberto Scarpelli Written by Gino Stafford, Sabatino Cuiffini, Oreste Palella, Amabrogio Moltaeni, Umberto Scarpelli, and Emimmo Salvi (whew!) Run Time: 92 minutes Tagline: See! The Dwarfs of Death! See! The City Destroyed by Cataclysm! See! Women Who Live Forever! [NOTE: There are no women who live forever in this movie.] Memorable Quote: “Only [...]

Written and Directed by Alfonso Brescia Run Time: 99 minutes Tagline: Hostile Alien Cyborgs in a Battle for the Universe War of the Robots is another of my guilty pleasures created by one of my favorit Italian Gods of Schlock: Alfonso Brescia (aka, Al Bradly, director of Supermen vs the Amazons (1975), Cosmos: War of [...]

Directed by Kinji Fukasaku Written by Bill Finger and Ivan Reiner Run Time: 90 min Tagline: "The Green Slime is coming!" Other Titles: Death and the Green Slime, Gamma #3 Big Military Space Operation (Japan) Classic quote: Doctor Lisa Benson looking over a bloody, smoking, charred body: "He’s dead." The Green Slime is an odd [...]

Written and Directed by Larry Buchanan (based on the story "Being" by Richard Matheson) Run Time: 80 minutes Tagline: Trapped In a Cave of Terror! Wayne Thomas (Tommy Kirk)Wayne Thomas, the intrepid and self-proclaimed “assistant professor of paleontology”, helps Leilla and Bella fight for their lives against Greely and his evil rubber-suited monster. Will Wayne [...]

Directed by Kurt Neumann Run Time: 78 minutes Tagline: PLANET ROBBER TRAMPLES EARTH…STEALING ENERGY FOR OTHER WORLDS! Kronos is a little 50’s sci-fi treat that I somehow missed earlier in my misspent life. And since I thoroughly enjoyed it I’m going to feel a little guilty as I make fun of it. So I want [...]