Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990)

Written and Directed by Damian Lee In a nutshell: Middle-aged actors portray Cyborg cops from the planet Sardacian fighting over the Anti-Life Equation. Run Time: 90 minutes Classic Quote: Father So what makes you think you can locate my 4-by-4? Abraxas My box has VD. Mother What?! Abraxas VD: Vibrational Detection.   Abraxas (Jesse Ventura)Abraxas [...]

Phantom from Space (1953)

Directed by W. Lee Wilder Written by William Raynor, Myles Wilder In a nutshell: A radioactive alien menaces Santa Monica…but oh, it’s invisible, so don’t get too excited. Run Time: 73 minutes Tagline: “His secret power menaced the world!” Classic Quote: Dr. Wyatt : My theory is that this space ship, or whatever it was [...]

The Sacrifice (1986)

Written & Directed by Andrei Tarkovsky Alexander – Erland Josephson Adelaide – Susan Fleetwood Otto – Allan Edwall Victor – Sven Wollter Maria – Guorun Gisladottir PROLOGUE I’m about to do something very, very bad. So bad, in fact, it may be blasphemous. I’m about to skewer the final film of cinematic saint Andrei Tarkovsky. [...]

Machine Head (2000)

Directed by Leonard Murphy, Michael Patrick Written by Leonard Murphy, Michael Patrick In a nutshell: An amusing mixture of Re-animator and small engine repair. Run Time: 80 minutes Tagline: “Recycling has a whole new meaning!” Here comes yet another item from the infamous "Catacomb of Creepshows" boxed set…marketed as "Hours of Spine-Chilling Tales", but let’s [...]

Sean reports on Godzilla from the field!

Late last night my morse-code receiver started beeping like crazy so I dashed up and decoded his hurried message: The Return of the King Knowing I planned to see the new Godzilla on opening weekend, Dennis asked me for some impressions – and here they are: Wow! Hollywood finally got it right. This is not [...]

Godzilla (1998)

Directed by Roland Emmerich Written by Roland Emmerich, Dean Devlin Run Time: 132 minutes Tagline: “1998. The year of GODZILLA!” Like most Godzilla fans, I remember the 1998 Dean Devlin & Roland Emmerich (D&E) version with loathing. So enraged was I after sitting through the damn thing in the theater I toyed with writing a [...]

The X from Outer Space (1967)

Other Titles: (Giant Space Monster: Guilala (宇宙大怪獣:ギララ) Director: Kazui Nihonmatsu Producer: Wataru Nakajima Screenplay:    Eibi Motomochi    Moriyoshi Ishida    Kazui Nihonmatsu SFX: Hiroshi Ikeda Art Direction: Shigemori Shigeta Music: Taku Izumi CAST:    Toshiya Wazaki – Captain Sano    Peggy Neal – Lisa    Itoko Harada – Michiko    Eiji Okada – Dr. Kato    Franz Gruber – Dr. Berman    Shin’inchi [...]

Godzilla Trailer Review by Sean Ledden

Godzilla Official Trailer Review By Sean Ledden The 2nd trailer for the new Godzilla is out, and I’m officially psyched! Here’s why: No Odious Comic Relief It was clear from the teaser trailer, but amplified here, that we will go back to the super serious mood of the 1954 original. Gone is the “light-hearted comedy” [...]

Sharknado (2013)

Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante Written by Thunder Levin Run Time: 86 minutes Tagline: “Enough Said!” 25 Words or Less: If you like sharks, and you like tornados, then you’re gonna love this movie.   Open with immediate action…a huge water funnel sliding across the open ocean sucking up countless sharks into the sky. Well…there’s [...]

The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

Written and Directed by William Sachs Run Time: 84 minutes 25 Words or Less: A murderous, melting mutant astronaut named Steve. Wrap Up: Open in deep space where stalwart astronaut Steve West and his sacrificial crew cruise past the planet Saturn. Note that the FX team uses Apollo moon landing footage in a misguided attempt [...]

Midnight Movie Massacre (1988)

Directed by Mark Stock Run Time: 85 minutes Other Titles: ATTACK FROM MARS PRODUCTION CREDITS: A.K.A. The Perp Walk Screenplay by: Roger Branit, John Chadwell, David Houston, Wade Williams Produced by: Wade Williams Directed by: Mark Stock CAST: Robert Clarke Ann Robinson And a sorry group of amateurs I won’t shame by printing their names. [...]

Kottentail (2007)

Written and Directed by Tony Urban Run Time: 90 minutes 25 Words or Less: Mutant rabbit bites man. Man mutates and attacks scantily clad women. Dennis laughs. The Cast FredericoCould a rabbit this cute be the source of so much mayhem? Why sure, because he’s genetically mutated! Hans Köttentail (Nathan Faudree)Hans’s quiet life comes to [...]

Things (1989)

Written by Barry J. Gillis and Andrew Jordan Directed by Andrew Jordan Run Time: 83 minutes 25 Words or Less: You’ll never be the same after "Things". Canada’s first direct-to-video horror movie! Classic Lines: "I’ve lived with the dead in New York City, but this is ridiculous!" – Don The Cast Don Drake (Barry J. [...]

Dollman vs. the Demonic Toys (1993)

Directed by Charles Band Written by Charles Band, Jackson Barr Run Time: 72 minutes 25 Words or Less: Diminutive alien cop hooks up with hot nurse to battle toys from Hell! The Cast Brick Bardo (Tim Thomerson)Only 12-inches tall, but with an galactic-sized attitude, interstellar cop Brick Bardo is trapped on a planet a long, [...]

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Directed by Robert Hiltzik Written by Robert Hiltzik Run Time: 88 minutes A Monster Shack Video Bite Yes, I stumbled upon some old slasher flicks from the 80′s, which is my personal favorite decade for movies of all types…so be expecting to see more reviews from that bygone era (sigh). Call me old and nostalgic. [...]

Frankenfish (2004)

Directed by Mark A.Z. Dippé Written by Simon Barrett, Scott Clevenger Run Time: 84 minutes In 25 Words or Less: Mutant fish invade our precious swamps and eat rednecks. The Cast Sam Rivers (Tory Kittles)Sam, the suave city-slicker M.E. who’s a country boy at heart, and a swamp expert without peer. But when Frankenfish shows [...]

Megalodon (2002)

Directed by Pat Corbitt Written by Gary Tunnicliffe, Stanley Isaacs Run Time: 75 minutes 25 Words or Less: Evil oil drillers wake up a giant, crabby prehistoric shark. Hi Lites Cute reporterShe’s cute. She’s a reporter. Let’s just leave it at that. CGIAcceptable CGI in the film, but too much mini-sub chomping…a bit boring after [...]

Rattlers (1976)

Directed by John McCauley Written by Jerry Golding, John McCauley Run Time: 82 minutes 25 Words or Less: Rattlesnakes get pissed off when the military dumps toxic waste on them. Hi Lites Stack FootagePlenty of stock footage from ancient nature reels, complete with defects in the emulsion; I even think I remember seeing one or [...]

Night Train To Terror (1985)

Directed by John Carr, Phillip Marshak, Tom McGowan, Jay Schlossberg-Cohen, and Gregg C. Tallas (whew!) Written by Phillip Yordon Run Time: 98 minutes 25 Words or Less: Three movies, one never finished, edited into a full length film complete with God, Satan, boobs, and death machines.   Hi Lites Goofy animationPlenty of cheesy animation consisting [...]

Troll Hunter (2010)

Troll Hunter (2010) Directed by André Øvredal Written by André Øvredal, Håvard S. Johansen Run Time: 103 minutes Starting this review by saying that “Trollhunter” is like “The Blair Witch Project” meets “Cloverfield” gives the impression that this is a true Suck Fest. But it’s not – a Suck Fest, I mean. Trollhunter may steal [...]