Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990)

Written and Directed by Damian Lee

In a nutshell: Middle-aged actors portray Cyborg cops from the planet Sardacian fighting over the Anti-Life Equation.

Run Time: 90 minutes

Classic Quote:

Father So what makes you think you can locate my 4-by-4?

Abraxas My box has VD.

Mother What?!

Abraxas VD: Vibrational Detection.


Godzilla (1998)

Directed by Roland Emmerich

Written by Roland Emmerich, Dean Devlin

Run Time: 132 minutes

Tagline: “1998. The year of GODZILLA!”

Like most Godzilla fans, I remember the 1998 Dean Devlin & Roland Emmerich (D&E) version with loathing. So enraged was I after sitting through the damn thing in the theater […]

Dollman vs. the Demonic Toys (1993)

Directed by Charles Band

Written by Charles Band, Jackson Barr

Run Time: 72 minutes

25 Words or Less:

Diminutive alien cop hooks up with hot nurse to battle toys from Hell!

The Cast

Brick Bardo (Tim Thomerson)Only 12-inches tall, but with an galactic-sized attitude, interstellar cop Brick […]

Highlander 2 (1991)

Directed by Russell Mulcahy

Written by Gregory Widen

Run Time: 109 minutes

A guest review by Karl Hoegle

Connor Macleod (Christopher Lambert)He must have really needed the money, or failed to read the script before agreeing to this turkey. Hmmm… Was there a script? Juan Sánchez Ramírez (Sean Connery)3.5 million […]

Waterworld (1995)

Directed by Kevin Reynolds

Writer by Peter Rader and David Twohy

Run Time: 135 minutes

A guest review by Karl Hoegle.

Mariner (Kevin Kostner)So many fish jokes and puns that I could use here, but I will refrain. Deacon (Dennis Hopper)So over the top, I wonder if he read […]

Barbarian Queen 2: The Empress Strikes Back (1992)

Directed by Joe Finley

Written by Howard Cohen and Lance Smith

Run Time: 80 minutes

Although I typically wouldn’t want to review a sequel without first posting a review for the first of the series, I’m going to make an exception for this movie. Why? Two reasons:

1) It’s not really […]

Lost In Space (1998)

Directed by Stephen Hopkins

Written by Akiva Goldsman

Run Time: A whopping 130 minutes! [Dennis: Ouch!]

Tagline: Danger, Will Robinson!

Budget: 75 million Total US Gross: 69.102 Million (136 Million worldwide)

A Guest Review by Karl Hoegle

John Robinson (John Hurt)Super Dad! Maureen Robinson (Mimi Rodgers)The glue that […]

Timelock (1996)

Directed by Robert Munic

Written by Joseph Barmettler

Run Time: 90 long minutes

Tagline: There’s no going back

Summary: A sub-par “Escape From Prison Planet” snore fest.

Before I begin, I want to reiterate that I know that the folks that make films like ‘Timelock’ aren’t expecting Academy Awards for […]

War of the Worlds (2005) (plus bonus review! Independence Day (1996))


By Sean Ledden

War of the Worlds – or – quality time with the kids

And now, regrettably, we come back full-circle to Monsieur Spielberg. Remember how I complained in Close Encounters of the Third Kind of our long immersion into Neary household […]

The Secret Adventures of Tom Thumb (1993)

Directed and Written by Dave Borthwick

Run Time: 60 min

There are very few movies that I find haunting, even moving. The kind of movie that I just can’t get out of my head after seeing it. This is one of them. "The Secret Adventures of TomThumb" is a short, poignant, and […]

Search For The Beast (1997)

Directed by R.G. Arledge

Run Time: 82 minutes

Search For The Beast is one of those films that defies description. But since it is my unpaid, and often thankless, job at this web site to attempt to describe such films, I’m obligated to give it a shot.

Let’s start out by […]

Future War (1997)

Directed by Anthony Doublin

Written by Dom Magwili

Tagline: "Past Predator, Present Alien, Future Terminator"

Run Time: 90 min

Sister Ann: "Who are you?"

Future Slave: "A tool."

I don’t think I’ve hated a movie as much as Future War since I reviewed Hobgoblins a while back. Everything, everything, […]

On Deadly Ground (1994)

Directed by Steven Seagal

Tagline: “His battle to save the Alaskan wilderness and protect its people can only be won…”

Run Time: 102 min

Other Titles: "Rainbow Warrior", "Spirit Warrior"

On Deadly Ground directed, produced, and starring Steve "Kick Yo’ Ass" Seagal, is a perfect example of a movie […]

Contact (1997)


by Sean Ledden


A couple of weeks ago my trusty TV of 14 years died a quick and unexpected death. Grief-stricken, I rushed out to buy a new flat-screen LCD and celebrated by watching some of my favorite old wide-screen spectacles, including […]