Rattlers (1976)

Directed by John McCauley Written by Jerry Golding, John McCauley Run Time: 82 minutes 25 Words or Less: Rattlesnakes get pissed off when the military dumps toxic waste on them. Hi Lites Stack FootagePlenty of stock footage from ancient nature reels, complete with defects in the emulsion; I even think I remember seeing one or [...]

Kronos (1957)

Directed by Kurt Neumann Run Time: 78 minutes Tagline: PLANET ROBBER TRAMPLES EARTH…STEALING ENERGY FOR OTHER WORLDS! Kronos is a little 50’s sci-fi treat that I somehow missed earlier in my misspent life. And since I thoroughly enjoyed it I’m going to feel a little guilty as I make fun of it. So I want [...]

The Day Time Ended (1980)

Directed by John "Bud" Cardos (Yes, John "Outlaw of Gor" Carlos…) Run Time: 79 minutes Tagline: THEIR LIVES BECAME A LIVING HELL! Grant: "Steve, you know what this is don’t you?…It’s a Time Space Warp!" Steve: "I’m not sure I know exactly what that is." Grant: "I don’t suppose anybody really does." —————— Why? That [...]

Track of the Moon Beast (1976)

Directed by Richard Ashe Written by Bill Finger and Charles Sinclaire Tagline: The rising moon creates a monster Run Time: 90 min “There is an answer…and I think I know what it is…and it makes me sick to think about it!”- Johnny Longbow Are you tired of run-of-the-mill werewolf movies? Bored with the usual ‘werewolf [...]

The Swarm (1978)

Directed by Irwin Allen Based on the novel by Arthur Herzog Jr., Screenplay by Stirling Silliphant Tagline: “It’s more than a speculation – it’s a prediction!” Run Time: 156 minute Director’s Cut (Yeah, baby! 2 and a half hours of cheese!) “I never dreamed that it would turn out to be the bees…They’ve always been [...]

Robot Monster (1953)

Directed by Phil Tucker Written by Wyott Ordung Tagline: “Moon monsters launch attack against Earth! How can science meet the menace of astral assassins? New Science Fiction Thrills!” Run Time: 66 min “I cannot. Yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do ‘must’ and ‘cannot’ meet? Yet I [...]

Outlaw of Gor (1989)

Directed by John "Bud" Cardos Based on the "Gor" novels by John Norman Run Time: 89 minutes Other Titles: "Outlaw", "The Outlaw" Cabot: "How much further?Hup: "I don’t know, a couple of hours, more or less…as the time flies. The other day as I was sitting outside drinking a cold beer, I had a sudden [...]

Mesa of Lost Women (1953)

Directed by Ron Ormond Written by Herbert Tevos Tagline: "A race of deadly spider-women luring men to their death!" Run Time: 70 min Other titles: "Lost Women of Zarpa" “In the continuing war for survival between man and the hexapods, only an utter fool would bet against the insect.”- Narrator Imagine an alternate universe if [...]

Megaforce (1982)

Directed by Hal Needham Tagline: “When the force was with them, NO-ONE stood a chance!” Run Time: 99 minutes Megaforce is, I must admit, a guilty pleasure from my long lost past that I’m still able to enjoy as a jaded adult. (My other guilty pleasures from that era are now impossible to re-experience at [...]

The Giant Gila Monster (1959)

Written and Directed by Ray Kellogg Tagline: "Only Hell could breed such an enormous beast. Only God could destroy it!" Run Time: 63 min “This is the kind of movie where simple continuity between day and night proves to be a problem…”- James Kendrick , Q NETWORK FILM DESK Review “And the Lord said, laugh, [...]

The Brain From Planet Arous (1957)

Directed by Nathan Juran Written by Ray Buffum Run Time: 70 min “I’ll be turning your simple little will off and on…like a key in a lock”- Gor A popular topic in sci-fi films is, of course, intelligent, disembodied brains. As a result, there is a slew of "brain" movies out there, but they all [...]

The Black Scorpion (1957)

Directed by Edward Ludwig Written by Robert Blees Tagline: "The management reserves the right to put up the lights any time the audience becomes too emotionally disturbed. We urge you not to panic or bolt from your seats." Run Time: 88 min “Me and Doc have been down many a-cave!”- Dr. Scott Another big bug [...]

The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)

Written and Directed by Coleman Francis Tagline: "Commies made him an atomic mutant!" Run Time: 54 min Other titles: "The Violent Sun " Coleman Francis’s "The Beast of Yucca Flats" is a stunning achievement in cinematic incoherency. It causes me to stop and ask myself: "What are the absolute minimum requirements in order to call [...]