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Mark Twain Quotations

Finally, somebody who wasn't afraid to speak his mind

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

All you need is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money

Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied

Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody

It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them